so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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