I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
