I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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