It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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