What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
