ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
