Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
