I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
