i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
