i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
