also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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