I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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