After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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