THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize