I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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