yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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