he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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