I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
