You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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