i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
