Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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