Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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