Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
