Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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