i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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