More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
