How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
