So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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