I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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