I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
