u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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