Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
