I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
