Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
