Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize