We won't sleep together?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
