Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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