I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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