I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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