i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
