Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
