just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
