the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
