Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
