hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
