maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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