Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
