I don't usually arrange sex via text message
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
