Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize