He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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