I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
