At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was CRYING into my vagina
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
