im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
