I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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