actually, I'm a sock model
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
