I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
