found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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