**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
