you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So. Much. Porn.
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