So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
