I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
