I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize