Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize